Not a real engineer

You are not a real engineer.

You are a creature with a terrible countenance

the stature of a man

and the head of a lion

with sixteen wings about you

white as fresh snow

hundreds of eyes

that flicker like torches

and dart in all directions

the belt at your waist is a serpent

your breath is the gathering of stormclouds

your voice is the roar of the wind

the grass withers before your footsteps

and your writhing, ponderous tongue

black as the abyss

brings apocalypse upon everything it touches

We regret to inform you

we will not be offering you the role at this time –

we’re looking for somebody more technical